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I'm Moving....!!!

♥♥♥ Susan

posted on 02 August 2006 at 8:04 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment | 107 Comments

My friend Nicole has given birth to a baby boy on the 26 July 2006! I am so happy for her and so envious! I cant wait to see the pictures of the little one! I sent out a little gift for the baby through post today and also a package for my best friend Holly in UK for her baby girl. I wish I could be like them, get pregnant and have babies haha.

I also bought some little gifts for my dear friend Zahira as my congratulation gift coz she's going to Spain soon! not to mention a gift for Connie and Marie. It's my way of saying Thank you for everything you've done for me, for being there when I need friends and support, it's not much but it's the thought that counts, right?

As this month's birthday friends, I have bought birthday gifts for my dearest friends Magie & JonCox. Better be early before I go back to Indonesia and dont have time for things.

I hope the mails would reach you all and not lost.

♥♥♥ Susan

posted on 01 August 2006 at 7:46 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment | 16 Comments

20 Questions = 20 Pictures
Ideas from Sh1ft*Projects through Marie.

(All Photos are taken by Me)

One: Who am I? I'm just a girl.

Two: Who knows me best? My best friend Connie whom I met through Internet and then met in real life and we're best friend since then, we were born in the same month, we often think the same thing.

Three: how old am i? (or how old do i feel?) 27 going on 28.

Four: The most important thing in my life is My Family.

Five: I always carry My Nokia 6680.

Six: Something I always do. Get online.

Seven: Im at my happiest when I smoke.

Eight: On a monday morning, you can find me Sleeping coz I'm a night owl.

Nine: My favourite mode of transport is The Train.

Ten: My eyes are Sad now.

Eleven: My favourite material posession is My Mp3 that was given as birthday gift in Netherland by my dearest sister.

Twelf: To relax I like to Read Cheesy Romance Novels.

Thirteen: The town I live in is Modern

Fourteen: My worst habit is too lazy to make up the bed.

Fifteen: My guilty pleasure is Crepes.

Sixteen: When I look at someone, the first thing I see is The Smile.

My Best friend Connie

Seventeen: I think Flowers are beautiful.

Eighteen: One thing I can Live without is My Cowboy hat.

Nineteen: One thing people dont know about me is that I weight 64kg/141Lbs now.

Twenty: My life is A Struggle

♥♥♥ Susan

posted on 31 July 2006 at 3:31 AM | Permalink | Post a Comment | 10 Comments

The Other Side of Me

I remembered someone said that I was trying to change him from saying swearing words, I did try but even though I know it wont succeeded because the way we talk are ingrained to us and when something became a habit it would be hard for us to change it over night, so I make it a habit of mine not to use swearing words but that doesnt mean I cant use it or say it on occasion, so since tonight is the most miserable night of my life, just tonight only, I'll use it (just hoping no kids would read this though, I'm glad though my niece cant speak english).

I'm so fuckin' miserable tonight, I'm pissed off with myself for missing him, for having a fuckin' temptation to contact him either by email or phone call, damn him for screwing my mind and heart, I hope he bloody feels the same way, all these sleepless nights I had, it's so fuckin' frustrating! I guess promises are made to be broken, because things he said are just bullshit!

Im so glad It's raining and no thunder tonight or I would be fuckin' more miserable, I couldnt take this pain and hurt, it's fuckin' tears me apart! I went out an hour ago in the dead of the night and just stood there outside in the rain, looked up to the sky and wishing that the droplets would become bigger and shatter my face, It was so fuckin' cold and I welcomed it, I am waiting for the numb to come, Hell, I dont fuckin' care who saw me in the rain, they could bloody well join me for all I care! Misery loves company and I'm happen to be its company tonight.

Soaked to the bone and still waiting for the numb to come but all I feel is this longing, and the yearning for him, what the hell is fuckin' wrong with me? I have said Good Fuckin' Bye and it's damn better be easier tomorrow or I'll be more fuckin' pissed off!

okay enough of that swearing, glad it's morning and I'm ready to keep myself busy again with things, I just hate the night time when the only thing I could see when I close my eyes is him.

♥♥♥ Susan

posted on 30 July 2006 at 4:31 AM | Permalink | Post a Comment | 13 Comments

Night of Thunder
It was raining last night and lots of thunders, I really hate thunders, it makes me jumpy and woke me up everytime. I turned on the TV loud but it's still make me jumpy, the rain was beating hard on the window and I could hear the loud noise it made, I love rain but not thunder.

A face and a memory of someone keep bothering me as well and I hate it, I remembered when it's thunder and it comforted me when I talked to that someone, I was wishing the morning came soon but then in my desperate moments, a person phoned me up, I thank god for that, we talked for at least an hour untill the thunder slowly gone and the rain turns into soft drizzle and I once again felt so sleepy.

Before he hung up, I softly heard him said "I am also trying to be your rock, the one who is there for you to cling to."

♥♥♥ Susan

posted on 28 July 2006 at 1:48 PM | Permalink | Post a Comment | 10 Comments

Mid Year Sale (Part 03)

Okay I think I need to stop buying stuff or I'm gonna be really broke! hahaha well I bought these earrings for $1.50 each, I just love big dangling earrings, before the sale, they usually sell it like 3 for $10. I dont wear it everyday though, just when I want to go out or on special occasion. By the way CONGRATULATION to my darling best friend Zahira who got accepted to study in SPAIN! I'd like to say I told you so, hun hahaha, let me know the date you're going and for how long because who knows when I go back to Netherlands in December, We could plan to meet!!! I have been keeping myself busy today and it's helping me alot not to think about other things and thanks sooo much for all my friends who are also trying to distract me from my problems, I really love you guys!! Nicole is going to have her baby sooner than we expected!!!!! I am running out of time to send her something for her baby boy! I want lots and lots of pictures of the baby to see how adorable he would be!! I'm sooo happy for you Nic!!!hugs.

♥♥♥ Susan

posted on 27 July 2006 at 2:23 AM | Permalink | Post a Comment | 8 Comments

Mid Year Sale (Part 02)

I bought this kimono top a few days ago it's on sale for $23 from $39.90. I think it's so cute and I've always love Japanese style, I know the original Kimono is really expensive so this top is enough for me, I could wear it with jeans or black skirt. I also bought a shoe from this new shop called Tinkerbell, it's really gorgeous, I know also that I cant wear high heels, I am a clumsy girl and always fell down even when I wear flip flops but I cant help it when I tried it on and besides I dont have any formal shoes now, it's also on sale for $29.90 from $49.90, I have no idea why they always put .90 at that back, LOL i guess every cents count! I think there's nothing better to cure all illnesses than to go shopping! even window shopping somehow makes me happy, it makes me forget problems and stress reliever. I just realized that True love is never exist, I have always been a dreamer, and I guess I have always convinced myself that I will find my true love, my soulmate, the one guy that will be the other half of me, the keeper of my soul, and each break ups I had, I always told myself that we met the wrong people in order to find the right one for us and some day or one day i'll find him, But i'm just fooling myself.

I want to be realistic now and always assume the worst things because it's easier and when the worst happened I wont be hurting too much because I have been prepared for that. I think right now, I want to concentrate on other things first, how to survive on my own, how to support myself and be a better person, I dont want to think about love anymore, let it comes to me and let it fills me again when I least expected. I have so much love in me but i guess that's still not enough, but I wont look back because life goes on and I want to go with the flow.

♥♥♥ Susan

posted on 25 July 2006 at 5:01 AM | Permalink | Post a Comment | 17 Comments